Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t cotton to rapists

What was the craziest place that you had sex with someone in public?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

My husband asked me why do I keep on complaining about him cheating. Why don't I just leave?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What is your opinion on The Beatles' impact on modern popular music? Are there any other bands with similar impacts on their genre(s)? Why them and not others?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Are there any Hollywood celebrities who never divorced? Why does it seem like celebrities are likely to get divorced frequently?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why all the fuss about Trump’s policy initiatives? Isn’t he just trying to set a moral tone for the Republican Party to make America great again?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I vibrated my dogs shock collar while it was eating my other dog’s food and now it won’t eat. How do I fix this problem?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I actually pay taxes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why are liberals so bad at grasping alternative facts? For example, if something doesn’t happen the exact same way Trump described it, liberals dismiss it as false; while conservatives are able to fully understand the underlying principle.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why did Donald Trump and Melania Trump sleep in different rooms?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What measures do celebrities take to protect their images from being used for commercial purposes without permission? How much does this typically cost them?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Where are the gay people in India?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why do women have sex with dogs?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I see through liars

Woman attacked by rabid cat in Lynchburg, health officials say - WSET

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

“NASA’s Groundbreaking Discovery”: Solar 'Cannonballs' Identified as the Likely Cause of Mars Losing Its Water, Validating a Long-Standing Theory - Rude Baguette

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What was your best revenge story?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

How can we become the best humans? How can we trust each other?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I can count

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.